LUKAS!

HEY I LOVE ME SOME LUKAS, YOU KNOW?

pranassage

the power of pranassage and self awakening yoga is quite beautiful. as i have had a chance to work one on one with people since my return from nosara i am noticing its very particular and subtle power. i would love to work with a room full of people at some point soon. i am exploring the movement myself, on my own, generally in evening sessions when i have time to give to that process. a lot of creativity is happening as i move freely from what feels interesting to what else feels interesting. deep gratitude for the wisdom of the body. namaste.

a new year, new life,

where have i been since august and what kind of blog appears every 4 months? as my friend jared said in his blog recently, maybe this is the way it will be. it has been an intense few months to say the least. i successfully sold my condo in a down market at a time when the pace of my work and my life would not allow me to keep it. it was the family home, the place we worked so hard to buy, something i wanted for my children. all of the cliches and archetypes apply, and they all had to die. it was hard to let that go until i came to the place where it was time. that isn't something i could forecast or predict. my marriage was over, it had been three years, and yet this other element, this vestigial architecture, which had long outlived it's usefulness was also asking, needing, to be released. it was an important home after the separation and through the divorce, important for me and for my children. it was familiar, comfortable, and across the street from their school. when it was time it was as if the past had never existed. i threw everything i had into making it salable, and that took all summer. i painted and sanded and sickened myself when i didn't use any kind of mask. i was so involved i sanded in clouds of paint dust until i couldn't breathe. i landscaped, i painted, i dug in with a purity of energy i hadn't felt in a long while. i was transforming, manifesting something new, releasing, and it was exciting. it was in full swing. we got a closing date of september 30th and i found a new apartment in somerville for the following day. why stop there? i had researched yoga trainings in the summer, found nothing locally, and got word about a 4 week training in nosara, costa rica starting in early november. after a bit of research into what looked like a beautiful program i sent off my application. and 6 weeks later i am a yoga teacher, and more importantly, still and always a student.

for linda, 2009

the clouds
run to the north
like candy cotton rorschachs
out of the trees
and over the rooftops
a dolphin becomes a circle
devoured by a woman offering her ass
her skirt lifted by the breeze
memory keeps us company like these
i was a boy of formless promise
now a burning man of forgiven premise
breathing fire

forgiveness

please take a moment to forgive anyone who has done you wrong, to forgive everyone who has hurt you. take a moment to forgive life for any victimization, loss or hurt you have suffered. and please also take a moment to forgive yourself for anything you have done that needs to be forgiven. forgive yourself, however long this takes. i am doing this with you. let's move into the earth, into ourselves, as we do next, with a new heart. if you would like to pass this on to anyone you care about please do so. thank you so much.

what kind of man am i?

what kind of man am i?
would you hold me in cold blood?
would you wrap me when i'm done?
would you tell me if you could?
would you find me in the wood?

i'll be looking for your answer there
maybe in the clearing between breaths
or in the air
fireflies dance between our lips
among our stars and i look up to find you where you are
happy
my hands explore your every surface
my mouth a new soft purpose
together we dream and make this happen
our night at the cabin

i'm back now and i'm alone, maybe this is not my home
i'm looking for the extra key, i'm out here naked
they're coming for me

what kind of man am i?
would you tell me if you could?
would you wrap me when i'm done?
would you hold me in cold blood?
can you find me on the run?

yoga

According to one source, the word kundalini literally means "the curl of the lock of hair of the beloved." It is a metaphor, a poetic way of describing the flow of energy and consciousness which already is said to exist within each person. The practices are said to enable the person to merge with or "yoke" the universal Self. This merging of individual consciousness with the universal consciousness is said to create a "divine union" called "yoga".

littanies, 2009

magic man, leaves all to happen as it may.
litany of the infinite kitten, he say.

death and what comes from it, part 1

through the conscious connection with my death - my hades - my underworld - i am rooted and feel more real, grounded. the ego is capable of such heroics but without the touchstone of death it feels unreal to me. like losing touch with something fundamental.

demeter
________

ge/gaia
_________

chthon


demeter, (she is also cthonic, of the earth, and pre-olympian. the roman equiv. is ceres) bringer of corn/grains, thus hope for better in this life and the next. preserver of marriage, bringer of seasons. earth and above. also destroyer of all life. so powerful that she could cause hades to bring her daughter persephone up from the underworld.

gaia, or ge, a primordial goddess, (cthonic, of the earth, and pre-olympian. the roman equiv. is terra). personifying the earth. the earth itself. she brings forth the sky, uranus. rooted in aia, indo-eurpoean, meaning grandmother, thus grandmother earth. jung suggested that the archetypal mother was a part of the collective unconscious of all humans. such mother imagery underpins many mythologies, and precedes the image of the paternal "father". this helps explain the universality of such mother goddess imagery around the world.

chthon, not a god but a greek word for within the soil itself. in, under or beneath the earth. of the earth. subterranean. fertility, abundance and the grave. related to a form of ritual sacrifice, often at night. in jungian psychology, the term chthonic was often used to describe the spirit of nature within, the unconscious earthly impulses of the self, one's material depths.

the quaternity, what is squared?, part 2

so this has me thinking about something similar. the egyptians had it flipped so that the male, paternal figure was earthly and the mother image was celestial, of the sky. geb and nut. she was the real deal, the sun and moon moved through her body at night. the earth, or geb, actually translates to 'weak one'. i can see a lot of connections to more recent belief systems, coming right out of that area, like the more modern christian view. but now the father becomes everything and we are given a trinity. life after death, as with the egyptians, is paramount. ascension, no false idols, 'only thorough me' etc. but excavations of pre-isrealite and later settlements still find thousands of female figures, fertility images, and goddesses. they were obviously not released by people just because there was a new system on the block. they were worshiped and held right alongside the new almighty. they were not of some hereafter but of the earth itself.

so the trinity:


holy ghost
_______

son
_______

father


plus the other three-in-one:


feminine
_______

body
_______

shadow


the trinity, the familiar triangle, plus the body, the shadow, the feminine, as one, and we have a quaternity. a square, or squared off circle, something whole, rounded. the development or evolution of spirit needs the earthly base, comes from the ground up. we cannot ascend without rootedness, or if we do it is at great cost and risk. perhaps like icarus? and after all, where was icarus' mother?