free-falling from space dream

free-falling from space dream, audio version. try the link above.

i am outside my ship - traveling with it tens of thousands of miles from earth,
in weightlessness.
i am alone among the stars - in the universe there is an excitement
and energy, an engagement. focus.
i begin to fall toward earth and am fully alive.
i free-fall, as the stars move and earth comes closer into view
i am pulled at full speed.

duhkham eva sarvam vivekinah

all is pain to those who discriminate

this needs a home here

this is my cousin john, and his sister, my cousin gail, gail's daughter abigail on the left and my son lukas playing the drum, my daughter treme is playing the xylophone, and off camera my son marek and gail's son jordan wrestle. as i was filming the kids together gail and treme began to play some music. after a few moments this voice enters the room and it is john, my brother, singing out this song he makes up for us all. he died not long after, and my beautiful cousin gail passed away as well. i love this little gift, this little thing. sing sing sing.

video:
i love you john and gail!

i dreamt of birds for the first time

i dreamt of birds, releasing from flowers, high up in the sky. by reaching up somehow i activated a birth process. the flowers were beautiful and many petaled, none would know a bird was enclosed. as it broke free from the coccoon of the flower it began to fly for the very first time, with a burst and a flap. i was in love with watching this happen, and then my daughter was beside me, she who loves all creatures and she was worried. watch, i said. and we marveled.

tuesday morning dream

'distances would make sense if they were allowed to be insane'

this occurred like a mantra before i awoke, coming from wherever that place is that these things come from.

a dream deferred is upon us

i dreamt of heads unearthed. statuary. it's jesus i said, st. benedict. his head was huge and angled and biblical. i leaned it back so that all could gaze upon it. what have i found in the rubble? below the surface prior gods announce and resign. below the date the inscription 'he brings the light into the world', or the word. the large earthen head, broken now, and by it's absence a body still buried, the buried body of the bringer of the word, still, one with the source - inseparable, unbroken and unseen. fool's gold looks like that sometimes, is disregarded when life itself moves with wings beneath its tease of solar shimmer.

LUKAS!

HEY I LOVE ME SOME LUKAS, YOU KNOW?

pranassage

the power of pranassage and self awakening yoga is quite beautiful. as i have had a chance to work one on one with people since my return from nosara i am noticing its very particular and subtle power. i would love to work with a room full of people at some point soon. i am exploring the movement myself, on my own, generally in evening sessions when i have time to give to that process. a lot of creativity is happening as i move freely from what feels interesting to what else feels interesting. deep gratitude for the wisdom of the body. namaste.

a new year, new life,

where have i been since august and what kind of blog appears every 4 months? as my friend jared said in his blog recently, maybe this is the way it will be. it has been an intense few months to say the least. i successfully sold my condo in a down market at a time when the pace of my work and my life would not allow me to keep it. it was the family home, the place we worked so hard to buy, something i wanted for my children. all of the cliches and archetypes apply, and they all had to die. it was hard to let that go until i came to the place where it was time. that isn't something i could forecast or predict. my marriage was over, it had been three years, and yet this other element, this vestigial architecture, which had long outlived it's usefulness was also asking, needing, to be released. it was an important home after the separation and through the divorce, important for me and for my children. it was familiar, comfortable, and across the street from their school. when it was time it was as if the past had never existed. i threw everything i had into making it salable, and that took all summer. i painted and sanded and sickened myself when i didn't use any kind of mask. i was so involved i sanded in clouds of paint dust until i couldn't breathe. i landscaped, i painted, i dug in with a purity of energy i hadn't felt in a long while. i was transforming, manifesting something new, releasing, and it was exciting. it was in full swing. we got a closing date of september 30th and i found a new apartment in somerville for the following day. why stop there? i had researched yoga trainings in the summer, found nothing locally, and got word about a 4 week training in nosara, costa rica starting in early november. after a bit of research into what looked like a beautiful program i sent off my application. and 6 weeks later i am a yoga teacher, and more importantly, still and always a student.

for linda, 2009

the clouds
run to the north
like candy cotton rorschachs
out of the trees
and over the rooftops
a dolphin becomes a circle
devoured by a woman offering her ass
her skirt lifted by the breeze
memory keeps us company like these
i was a boy of formless promise
now a burning man of forgiven premise
breathing fire