i dreamt of birds for the first time

i dreamt of birds, releasing from flowers, high up in the sky. by reaching up somehow i activated a birth process. the flowers were beautiful and many petaled, none would know a bird was enclosed. as it broke free from the coccoon of the flower it began to fly for the very first time, with a burst and a flap. i was in love with watching this happen, and then my daughter was beside me, she who loves all creatures and she was worried. watch, i said. and we marveled.

tuesday morning dream

'distances would make sense if they were allowed to be insane'

this occurred like a mantra before i awoke, coming from wherever that place is that these things come from.

a dream deferred is upon us

i dreamt of heads unearthed. statuary. it's jesus i said, st. benedict. his head was huge and angled and biblical. i leaned it back so that all could gaze upon it. what have i found in the rubble? below the surface prior gods announce and resign. below the date the inscription 'he brings the light into the world', or the word. the large earthen head, broken now, and by it's absence a body still buried, the buried body of the bringer of the word, still, one with the source - inseparable, unbroken and unseen. fool's gold looks like that sometimes, is disregarded when life itself moves with wings beneath its tease of solar shimmer.

LUKAS!

HEY I LOVE ME SOME LUKAS, YOU KNOW?

pranassage

the power of pranassage and self awakening yoga is quite beautiful. as i have had a chance to work one on one with people since my return from nosara i am noticing its very particular and subtle power. i would love to work with a room full of people at some point soon. i am exploring the movement myself, on my own, generally in evening sessions when i have time to give to that process. a lot of creativity is happening as i move freely from what feels interesting to what else feels interesting. deep gratitude for the wisdom of the body. namaste.

a new year, new life,

where have i been since august and what kind of blog appears every 4 months? as my friend jared said in his blog recently, maybe this is the way it will be. it has been an intense few months to say the least. i successfully sold my condo in a down market at a time when the pace of my work and my life would not allow me to keep it. it was the family home, the place we worked so hard to buy, something i wanted for my children. all of the cliches and archetypes apply, and they all had to die. it was hard to let that go until i came to the place where it was time. that isn't something i could forecast or predict. my marriage was over, it had been three years, and yet this other element, this vestigial architecture, which had long outlived it's usefulness was also asking, needing, to be released. it was an important home after the separation and through the divorce, important for me and for my children. it was familiar, comfortable, and across the street from their school. when it was time it was as if the past had never existed. i threw everything i had into making it salable, and that took all summer. i painted and sanded and sickened myself when i didn't use any kind of mask. i was so involved i sanded in clouds of paint dust until i couldn't breathe. i landscaped, i painted, i dug in with a purity of energy i hadn't felt in a long while. i was transforming, manifesting something new, releasing, and it was exciting. it was in full swing. we got a closing date of september 30th and i found a new apartment in somerville for the following day. why stop there? i had researched yoga trainings in the summer, found nothing locally, and got word about a 4 week training in nosara, costa rica starting in early november. after a bit of research into what looked like a beautiful program i sent off my application. and 6 weeks later i am a yoga teacher, and more importantly, still and always a student.

for linda, 2009

the clouds
run to the north
like candy cotton rorschachs
out of the trees
and over the rooftops
a dolphin becomes a circle
devoured by a woman offering her ass
her skirt lifted by the breeze
memory keeps us company like these
i was a boy of formless promise
now a burning man of forgiven premise
breathing fire

forgiveness

please take a moment to forgive anyone who has done you wrong, to forgive everyone who has hurt you. take a moment to forgive life for any victimization, loss or hurt you have suffered. and please also take a moment to forgive yourself for anything you have done that needs to be forgiven. forgive yourself, however long this takes. i am doing this with you. let's move into the earth, into ourselves, as we do next, with a new heart. if you would like to pass this on to anyone you care about please do so. thank you so much.

what kind of man am i?

what kind of man am i?
would you hold me in cold blood?
would you wrap me when i'm done?
would you tell me if you could?
would you find me in the wood?

i'll be looking for your answer there
maybe in the clearing between breaths
or in the air
fireflies dance between our lips
among our stars and i look up to find you where you are
happy
my hands explore your every surface
my mouth a new soft purpose
together we dream and make this happen
our night at the cabin

i'm back now and i'm alone, maybe this is not my home
i'm looking for the extra key, i'm out here naked
they're coming for me

what kind of man am i?
would you tell me if you could?
would you wrap me when i'm done?
would you hold me in cold blood?
can you find me on the run?

yoga

According to one source, the word kundalini literally means "the curl of the lock of hair of the beloved." It is a metaphor, a poetic way of describing the flow of energy and consciousness which already is said to exist within each person. The practices are said to enable the person to merge with or "yoke" the universal Self. This merging of individual consciousness with the universal consciousness is said to create a "divine union" called "yoga".